As I sit and reflect on the fact that I’m now a bona fide, washed-up track star and reminisce over my glory days, I find it funny that I never have been/never will be a competitive person. Totally contradictory, right? It seems like that hunger to always win and be the best is a prerequisite for being an athlete. Oddly enough, it’s never been about that for me.

The first “big” sport I was involved in was soccer in second grade and I ended up playing for eight years. Why? Because it was fun for me. I just loved that I got to use all my might and see how far I could kick it down the field, and the fact that as sweeper, I was essentially the last person standing between the forward and the goal. I just liked challenging myself for the kicking distance, and I honestly didn’t care if we won or lost or made it to the playoffs. That might sound bad, and of course I always tried for the sake of my teammates, but I was never the kid to get upset over it haha

Same with basketball. I just liked challenging myself to see how many times & from what spot on the floor I could make a basket. That was it. Oh, and along the lines of my sweeper position, stealing the ball lol – I did that a lot. But again, not a big deal if we didn’t win. I was just having fun. Point is, I always did sports for the fun, exercise, it made my parents proud, andd the fact that the boys liked the athletic girls didn’t hurt either

However, shit changed when I started track in eighth grade. I had played the usual soccer in the fall, basketball in the winter, and then for the first time, spring rolled around and I was like “Hey, I’m bored – what else can I do?” Someone suggested track (I forget who). So I was like, hey sure, I know nothing about it, but let me give it a go. Lo and behold, I step on the track, they tell me to run from here to there as fast as I can, and I end up beating everyone. Coaches get excited over this random girl, put me in a meet, I do the same thing, and next thing I know I’ve got medals. I’m not trying to boast, but it’s just so funny to me that I wasn’t one of those kids that had been training since they were three; I knew nothing about it, and was just so stunned like “You mean to tell me, all I have to do is run around in a circle and all these people clap and give me medals and trophies?!” I could get used to this!

So then I started high school, decided to forgo basketball to pursue this little thing (and it didn’t hurt that it was like impossible to make the hs basketball team lol) in winter track instead. Turns out it was fun, and I started getting better! Long story short, every single season since then, even being hardcore with AAU summer leagues to further improve/not have to go a season without my beloved sport, I’ve run track. It truly became a part of my identity – I was and still am known as the “track star.” It’s something I’ll always carry with me – the urge to go faster (haha Ricky Bobby!) However, these old bones are worn out & now only reside in the local gym doing low-impact activities haha

Oh. Back to the competitive thing. The point was that when I started running, there was a shift from team to individual. Yeah, track’s a team sport, but the team’s success comes from each individual’s effort (so do basketball & soccer, but you know what I mean – the closest thing would be passing the baton in a relay). But when you’re out there in your race, NO ONE is helping you go faster, it’s just your own efforts (ok, no one helps you shoot in basketball, but you need teammates to block for you and all that). So again, my motive in track was to challenge myself to go faster each race. I never ever cared about beating this girl or whatever. I was just focused on the clock. I guess the throwback to my soccer & basketball ball-stealing fun was when they had me anchor relays and I’d roll up on people to pass them haha That was worth the effort – I got to go faster & I helped my teammates.

Especially as I peaked my junior & senior years, I remember everyone trying to get me hyped up about who’d be in my heat – “Well you know you’re seeded at 25.5 and she’s seeded at 25.4, so you can beat her!” or the more common “You’re seeded first – you’ve got this race locked up.” Ok great. I just want to turn my 25.5 into a 25.1 today, ok? Thanks. lol I didn’t care about beating the top seed – if I did, great. It got me a better time. And if someone beat me, great – everyone has a bad day or two. I didn’t go home & cry about it, I just had fun going fast! (and my parents were soo proud, the outfits were cute, I’d get out of class early, andd the boys thought it was cool haha)

*****
Point is, as athletic as I’ve always been, I don’t seek out to destroy people. I only seek to improve myself and live up to what I know I’m capable of. If that puts me ahead of everyone, awesome. If not, oh well because I might’ve still improved my own record or reached my own goal. You can’t beat yourself up over it because if you spend so much damn time worrying about where you are in relation to other people when you could be focusing on your own areas to improve upon.

All of that was especially a reference to work – that’s how things are run – there’s a huge emphasis on where you are in relation to the group and I hate it. I don’t know, it just flusters me when it really shouldn’t – I should be used to it. And it’s not that I’m not competitive standings wise, but I just don’t care and I only get flustered because I don’t care and everyone else does; like you’re supposed to, but I freak out because I don’t? haha yeah. Don’t get me wrong, I totally understand it because that’s the way a lot of people operate – competition motivates them & is the only way they get stuff done because if left to their own devices, probably wouldn’t do shit. Anyway, this girl’s focused on self-improvement…


p.s. The other important piece I needed to add; I had decided not to run track in college because I knew it’d take up so much time & I was just focused on classes. But like I said, it’s part of my identity, I wanted to make my parents proud, boys, and a scholarship didn’t hurt haha BUT in Division I, there’s an obvious emphasis on competition, so track stopped being fun for me. It became a chore. I went from barely having to practice in high school, to grueling girls-tossing-their-cookies practices in college, and then the resulting body aches/injuries. And you actually were made to feel bad if you didn’t care about being competitive. It just sucked. But I don’t regret it…it was an experience.

from last night...

Ok, first and foremost, I have freakin strep throat. Yes, again. WTF. I just had it on October 6th…I had a little head cold on November 7th, got over it, then since the 14th my throat had been hurting really bad & I just thought it was like the end of that cold – I was eating Halls by the bag all last week lol But of course, it was just a sign of what was to come – the strep crept (ha) up Sunday night like “I’m baaack! Miss me?!” lol Sorry, but this just goes to show you how well my immune system works, wtf…

I’m sitting at my grandma’s house in LA right now…me and my dad flew in last night…we’ll be here for Turkey day tomorrow (which btw, this strep is ruining), and Friday, then we’re going with a bunch of family to New Orleans Friday night for the Battle of the Bands at the Superdome, got a sweet hotel room in the city, and me and my cousins are supposed to go out to the bars & what not for trouble Friday night (which again, strep is blocking), thenn Saturday afternoon is the Bayou Classic game at the Superdome again. I’m pumped. Sickness or not, I’m going to live it up. I’m determined lol

OMG, HUGE news!!! I got in my first car accident yesterday! haha And no, please do not mistake that for a tone of excitement, I just think it’s funny that I had yet to be in a car accident after like 8 years of driving – I feel like it’s some sort of rite of passage haha Anywho, I was on my way to work yesterday, it was rainy…slick concrete…came to a red light, I stopped, saw the car behind me in my rearview mirror getting a little too close as he was braking, and then BOOM! Threw my car forward AND the two cars behind him hit each other, so all in all the three of them made a nice lil pile up. I got off easy – scratches and a hole in my bumper. Their cars were like totaled, two of them wouldn’t even start. Geez. It could’ve been a lot worse! I’m just thankful no one was hurt. But uh, public service announcement: LEARN TO DRIVE, PEOPLE! ESPECIALLY IN THE RAIN. Thank you, that is all.

So I was incredibly excited when it started snowing Friday. Like running around in circles excited lol Granted, it wasn’t legit snow. Less than an inch. So what. It still makes me happy! It’s just so pretty & I think it’s partly because I’m used to 5 feet of snow on the regular when we lived up near NY when I was little, which meant lots of snow days, and all the neighborhood boys coming to sled on the hill by my house bc it was the fastest haha

Anyways, it got me thinking: people probably think you’re a big nerd for getting so excited over something so simple, especially when you’re 23 and can’t get snow days anymore. But yes, I reached the conclusion that I’m a simple girl, and it doesn’t take much to make me happy – I enjoy the simple things in life (sometimes the finer too though lol)…so here’s a resulting list:

The Top 5 Things That Make Lauren Happy:
1. Cuddling
2. Snow
3. Italian food
4. Things that are pink
5. Unexpected “just thinking of you” text msgs

Eee! That just gives me a warm fuzzy feeling (or maybe it’s just my fever). And I know all that’s incredibly girly, so stop laughing at me please.

Song of the day is “Hot N Cold” by Katy Perry…translation: STORY OF MY LIFE (love life, that is lol)

Also, as much as I like the song, if I hear T.I. “Whatever You Like” on the radio one more time, I will throw up. Like seriously. It’s just too much. I shouldn’t hear it six times every short ride I have in the car. Geesh.

NEWS. I started yoga class Tuesday! Umm, only my new favorite thing. Like every other new hobby/interest I take on, I’ve been doing tons of research, which in turn of course led to the next step of running out and buying stuff for it haha I don’t know why I was so excited to buy a mat, and of course I had to get it in pink which made me even happier, and thennn I found a cute lil Nike carrying case for it (easily impressed? haha). The best part is that I get to put my nine pairs of yoga pants to their intended use (let’s be honest – anything involving a cute outfit, I’m in lol Especially spandex at that…miss my track days…) So yeah, harder than I expected. I said I’d never do it and always thought it was goofy, like it was just some crazy stretches and had no clue how that could be considered a workout. False. Holding yourself in a pretzel knot and having to breathe is not easy lol And I thought I was flexible! I decided that I need some balance in my life – I mean, something that reduces stress and boosts immunity, clearly I’m in need haha

I REALLY wish I had long hair
I’m excited for Christmas, yay! (random)

Tomorrow is Friday. Jackie’s bday weekend…I smell trouble…(especially after Halloween – yeahh, ended up going out with them lol)

I just came across this definition on urbandictionary.com – I love it. And I am SOO freakin guilty of this it’s not even funny!

cuddle call: a phone call (or a text) to arrange an immediate cuddle date. Not a booty call but similar in the call for satisfaction nature of the behavior.
"Hey Baby. What's going on?"
"Hi. Cuddle Call?"
"See you in ten minutes"

I admit – I’m a serial cuddler. I love to spoon. Especially now that it’s so cold – prime cuddling season haha
Time to go to bed (but no cuddling tonight *tear.*)

Sooo today's Featured Question is: What TV character do you relate to most, and why?
Easy one. Lauren Conrad. I. Heart. Her. Besides sharing a name with her, we seem to go through the same stuff...Also, she has an amazing sense of style, she's really pretty, and just all-around awesome. Period.

But this weekend has been the first in forever that I've actually been able to *relax.* Lots of sleep=amazing. I forgot how great sleep was lol I'm trying to get as much as possible while I still can considering I have to be at work at 7:30 starting tomorrow. Bah. Like, the fact that it's dark out when I wake up in the morning? I'm not ok with that haha But work is awesome. I really think I've chosen my career. My co-workers are the coolest everrr. We went out in Olde City Tuesday night when we were at our conference:


The Boys

Dom & my terrible, terrible face of drunkenness

Also, Friday, I passed my Series 63 exam! So happy. That makes LAH, Series 6 and 63 licenses=I’m a financial advisor (insert shameless plug, cough cough) lol

After it happened at Panera today, I need to vent:
I absolutely HATE when people breathe down your neck when you’re standing in line at the store. Like, wtf, I know you’re anxious, but calm down tiger. Being three inches from my back WILL NOT get you through line any quicker! DUH. Omg, I just can’t take it! It happens all the time, no matter where I go. I just wanna scream “BACK THE FUCK UP.”
On a lighter note, I got a Caesar salad and tuna sandwich that made me extremely happy and resulted in a nap <3